The Comorbid Dx of Childhood/Long-Term Religious Trauma

I’ve decided that it is time I came out of hiding to try and shine a light on religious deconstruction and the many layers of trauma one must peel back to address and resolve in this arduous process. For those who spent their childhood being raised in a toxic religious environment, the shift must jackhammer through the more concrete messages within the foundation of our identity formed during childhood development. Messages of fear, hierarchical worth, and arrest of autonomy deliver an otherwise healthy individual to adulthood with a mix of diagnoses contributing to a lack of agency- otherwise known as failure to thrive. 

Full disclosure, I am still sifting through my own process. I have been a student and then professional within the field of psychology for well over a decade and some change. However, I spent the entirety of my developmental years in an evangelical cult. And yes, I likely found my way into psychology as a result of sensing there is more to who I had become despite how “healthy” of an upbringing I had.

“cult

n.

1. A religious or quasi-religious group characterized by unusual or atypical beliefs, seclusion from the outside world, and an authoritarian structure. Cults tend to be highly cohesive, well organized, secretive, and hostile to nonmembers. 
2. The system of beliefs and rituals specific to a particular religious group.” (APA Dictionary of Psychology, 2024)

”religion (as referenced in this article)

n.

1. a personal set or institutionalized system of religious attitudes, beliefs, and practice
2. scrupulous conformity” (Merriam-Webster, 2024). 

The term “cult”  felt like a severe expression the first time my favorite millennial stated to me that I had been raised in one. “Noooo. It wasn’t a cult…., it was just a group of people who met three times weekly for worship and accountability purposes. We were there to grow and support each other in our faith. We knew that the heathen world chose to not accept our view of truth with many having the audacity to persecute us for it (yay, martyrship!), and we simply met to learn more about how to worship God from the guru in charge of how to do that and encourage one another to go out and help others realize that they should do the same for the sake of their own good and chance to escape eternal damnation. That’s just organized religion, right? Right? RIGHT???”

For the record, “No one joins a cult. In other words, cult recruits typically believe they are joining a legitimate and healthy group that will not abuse them.”

-American Journal of Psychotherapy, 2011

I’m not yet 50. I have at least a few months, several weeks, and many days before that happens. Surely I’ve got my shit figured out by now. I mean, I left that cult at least a year, several months, many weeks, and hundreds of days ago. How hard can it be to switch gears and forge a healthier path ahead? Turns out, it’s the hardest thing I have ever made up my mind to do. 

“Just because a bad thing stops happening to you doesn’t mean it stops happening to you.”

-Tommy Orange, Native American Author

Call it Legion, for it has many names…. 

A neurodivergent cocktail of ASD, ADHD symptoms, and and other Complex Trauma characteristics. 

I suppose religious/cult trauma qualifies as Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD), but that is a pretty general description for something that shares so many specifically comorbid symptoms without a specific name- and C-PTSD has yet to qualify as an official diagnosis within the DSM-V (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual 5) within the shared fields for psychological approaches. My attempt here is to not only sort my own experience, but to provide some validation for other survivors of religious cult abuse, and perspective for allies of religious cult abuse survivors. 

Let’s begin with just the symptoms of such a disorder with something relatively easy to identify and generally agree upon. 

Fawning

Fawning is one of the four responses initiated by the brain’s amygdala within the sympathetic nervous system when triggered by fear. Along with this triggered response, the body releases chemicals and hormones which include adrenaline and cortisol. This response is our body’s basic attempt to promote an action that will keep us safe in the presence of a perceived danger. In a religious community identifying who is in and who is out, the  stakes are high when it comes to belonging. Of Maslow’s stages of survival, belonging/community is third following the body’s basic needs of food, water, air, sleep, and safety, and a prerequisite to fulfilling the psychological need to obtain a sense of accomplishment or esteem. All of this is a prerequisite to navigating what is necessary to obtain self fulfillment. However, the collective demands of a cult require a keen sense of loyalty, obedience, and submissiveness to the hierarchy, and an awareness of what behaviors are deemed agreeable within the community. This sort of tracking is exhausting because cult members and those who wish to remain in good standing of the cult must rely on an outside locus of control to maintain their belonging. When belonging is at stake, our amygdala fuels the response system with signaling chemicals to the body that demand it  fall in step with the environment so as not to draw attention in a way that could be judged insufficient or out of line. In other words, fawning is a behavior that hijacks an individual’s sense of agency to more easily sustain a surrendered agreement with the demands of the community and avoid social judgment and banishment. 

Masking

Masking, a symptom often utilized by survivors of religious abuse, depicts another form of fawning, but with a more conscious level of awareness. Masking occurs when an individual practices and engages certain behaviors, while also subduing behaviors more authentic to their nature in order to fit in with their surroundings. This is done out of a need to survive and fit into the environment one must rely on for safety. A behavioral chameleon, if you will. Those of us who survived shame in response to expressing authentic expression as young children within a religious cult took this form of survival as the armor we depended on to avoid public and private punishment for falling out of line with collective expectations. Shaming formed the mold that allowed us to shape ideals and personas palatable to the community. These honed characteristics and personality traits allowed us to survive and even thrive within the religious cult community we were subjected to. It also provided us with the sense of belonging necessary to attain a sense of safety and acceptance. 

Hyper Awareness

Hyper awareness is a common trauma response to the previous symptoms of fawning and masking, and a huge drain on mental, emotional, and even physical resources. As a child grows and develops within a religious cult, they are continually working to hide their natural instincts while simultaneously looking to mirror the culture they need to survive. This becomes even more complex when attending a public school where it is dangerous on one end to mimic the environment (outsiders), yet be expected to practice a responsibility to promote the moral expectations of the religious community which continue to mute the child’s inner conscience. This trifecta balancing act can look and feel neurodivergent on a spectrum created to accommodate a comprehensive communication disorder mimicking characteristics of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). The hyper awareness that stems from a persistent tracking and reflection of one’s environment contributes to an inability to remain solely focused on even minor tasks in a social setting. 

It can’t be overstated that the developing child’s world view is saturated with the demands and ideologies of the cult.

-Stephanie Wilson (Partner, mother, LPC, religious trauma survivor)

Abdication of Consciousness (Abdication of agency)

This leads us to a symptom inflicting the most long-term and impactful damage. Abdication of consciousness. If it sounds severe, that’s because it is. As suggested in the previous paragraph, organized religion demands an allegiance to a specific method of adhering to a strict and extensive moral code. The moral code itself is not so much the culprit here as is the corporate definition and predetermined style of executing that moral code which demands individuals to abdicate their own cognitive ability to decipher and execute free will in fulfilling the moral code on terms authentic to their expression. 

Psychological Splitting

Now on to psychological splitting, a product of cognitive dissonance. Just because an individual agrees to abdicate their moral conscience by forcing their own free will to take a backseat, doesn’t mean their free will automatically sit silent and agree with the replacement driver. In fact, this is hardly, if ever, the case. It takes a lot of cognitive effort and strain to regularly support a surrogate consciousness while simultaneously maintaining a gag order placed on the perfectly sound consciousness we are given. Just because we allow ourselves to be convinced to not trust our own judgment to engage and apply morals, doesn’t mean that it won’t fight for its own survival (anxiety is one case in point, but we’re not discussing diagnoses yet). Splitting is based on judgment and the assumption that there is an “in” and “out” division to contend with for social survival. To resolve the overwhelm/anxiety of the surrogate driver arguing with the biological backseat driver within consciousness, the brain resolves to splitting the environment into polarized judgments that determine people/situations in the environment as good/bad, in/out, safe/unsafe, idealizing/devaluing (APA Dictionary of Psychology, 2024). 

If you are wondering how an individual gets to the place they choose to abdicate their consciousness, well there are several opportunities to consider (the hairier part). There are a lot of chicken-or-egg principles at play here. A cult is primed to respond to, accommodate, and feed the following cognitive dysfunctions with lock-step accuracy;

Dissociation

Dissociation, a socially permissible “flight” mechanism, is a common practice following conscious abdication, or repeated condemnation for attempting to override the religious community’s norms with autonomous thoughts and behaviors. The mental and emotional exertion required to track and mimic an outside locus of control takes a toll on cognitive resources. When individuals do not feel safe fighting or physically running away from a perceived threat, they appear to freeze while their mind moves to a dissociative state. However, religious leaders will also invoke dissociative trance-like states through repetitious prayer, chanting, and songs. These practices weaken normal ego functioning while creating more cognitive availability to conform to the religious community’s demands. (American Journal of Psychotherapy, 2011)

Disordered Attachment

Unfulfilled and misaligned attachment needs. Let’s face it, a large segment of society does not escape childhood unscathed. Abuse is a label awarded to the offender by the victim- even if the abuse does not qualify as an offense by legal standards. Perception of abuse does not need validation by law or even a moral/ethical majority. When a child does not receive validation in a manner that meets the need or void they sustain, the child begins to split in a way that upholds their abusive/neglectful environment as “good” for sake of safety (remember Maslow’s hierarchy placing safety ahead of belonging), and because they risk sustaining rejection by the environment they need to deem “safe,” they have no choice but to believe that their autonomous expression is then, “bad.” The child becomes equipped to attach to abuse in many forms to fulfill their need to belong. Abuse/neglect of fulfilling needs must then equate to how they define love. If this is something that is getting through to you for the first time, it may be a good to begin breathing into a paper bag and thinking happy thoughts. I know how heavy the science behind the fallout of emotions like anger can (and still does) hurt. Hang in there with me… 

Paranoia

Another clinical symptom fueling organized religion stems from paranoia. Fear and a lack of agency present a lethal mix and pave a clear path to anyone eager to offer their “cure” to what ails those presenting fears. Religious groups are well primed to respond to those suffering from a personal crisis. And if there is no personal crisis, they will often conjure up a fine existential crisis with promises of providing their secret recipe to avoid such catastrophe. Have you ever been approached by a cult fanatic with the question, “If you were to die today, what would you say when you meet your maker and he asks you, why should I allow you into my heaven?” Religious cults offer freedom from these woes in exchange for your total dependency on the group and their leaders where the victim then becomes exploited for their psychological and/or financial compliance. Failure to adhere to paranoid propaganda is enforced by threats that impending doom and reinforced paranoid ideations await  those labeled as “back-slidden” by cult insiders. Understanding this level of group-think held captive at primitive defense levels (think fight/flight/freeze/fawn), it is easy to conceive how large movements of conspiracy theories take shape to the point of influencing an election. Conspiracy theories are the product of a highly dysfunctional and enmeshed relationship of unchecked needs between a Narcissist (a power-hungry religious cult) and Echo (an individual or group who have abdicated their agency to a power that has promised psychological and existential safety in return for whole-hearted commitment). The more an individual abdicates agency, the more susceptible they are to believing what they are told to believe by the power to which they have abdicated their conscious reasoning. Clinically significant interference to one’s agency (possession/distortion) is why seemingly indisputable evidence accepted by society at large often becomes dismissed. To accept a truth outside of where their agency lies is to risk existential catastrophe. 

Religious Omnipotence (#blessed syndrome)

Sandwiched among these various symptoms- and likely feeding and benefiting from those layers is a notion of omnipotence. Similar to splitting (in/out, idealization/devaluation), religious brainwashing contributes to a sensation of value at the expense of viewing others as devalued or damaged in ways that carry shame perceived as the misfortune or even fault of those deemed less valued by those on the “inside” track. Religious omnipotence comes with a responsibility, though; to evangelize and attempt to convert others into abdicating their free will to the group believed to carry authority on the “inside scoop.” Outsiders who choose not to conform by abdicating their agency are believed by the insiders to deserve an eternity in hell following this life. As such, insiders discount the humanity of outsiders as “less than” and deserving of any punishment or misfortune that they encounter. Especially if the outsider has chosen to decline an invitation to the group. 

“All selection is deselection.” 

-Dan Wilson (Partner, father, ex-evangelical minister, religious trauma survivor)

Projective Identification

Yet another symptom common to disorders stemming from religious trauma and those who have abdicated their agency involves “an unconscious effort to elicit an expected response or behavior from an external object.” (American Journal of Psychotherapy, 2011). Projective identification grows out of paranoia and presents yet another layer that buffers an individual from accessing their own autonomy and unwillingness to trust they have a right to reclaim their own agency. Projective identification results when outsiders attempt to convince or explain to members that they have been brainwashed or buy into conspiracy theories which only bolsters each member’s false sense of confidence in that they are expecting to be “persecuted” by outsiders and take such persecution as proof they are only being martyred for their “faith” fed to them by the leaders and community to whom they have tied their locus of control. Projective identification serves as insurance against outsiders who may attempt to convince members that their choice to entertain the requirements of the group has contributed to a dysfunction in accessing their authentic conscience/Self. 

Now that we have covered various symptoms stemming from religious abuse, let’s consider disorders that result from a mix of these symptoms. Fair warning, this next section reads a bit like a textbook so I’ve added my thoughts and qualifiers in italics following most symptom descriptions. Chew up the meat, spit out the bones.

A Diagnostic Clusterf*ck

Personality Disorders

I make it plural because religious abuse survivors fit the category of Other Specified/ Unspecified Personality Disorder which encapsulates a potpourri of the 11 personality disorders listed in the DSM-V. And if you think this is just an exaggerated expression stemming from a Histrionic personality disorder (see below)- I’ve either begun to prove my point, or we’re beginning to see the sub-aquatic side of the iceberg. Here is a list of each of the DSM-recognized Personality Disorders and the short description given to each:

• Paranoid Personality Disorder– a pattern of distrust and suspiciousness such that others’ motives are interpreted as malevolent. 

For religious cult survivors, this looks like believing I/we are existentially marked safe from eternal damnation, while those who do not agree with the brand of “theology” we drink are working for a spiritual enemy who look for any and every opportunity to fool less tenacious followers into convincing “us” that any other perspective is safe (despite the reality right in front of us). 

• Schizoid Personality Disorder– a pattern of detachment from social relationships and a restricted range of emotional expression.

Cults require detachment from any social groups or social patterns that conflict with the social norms of the cult. Cults also require members to adopt personas that attract outsiders to the cult and to defy authentic expressions that may deter outsiders from finding the cult attractive. 

• Schizotypal Personality Disorder– a pattern of acute discomfort in close relationships, cognitive or perceptual distortions, and eccentricities of behavior.

Cult survivors rarely trust close relationships because of the distorted reality they must maintain while serving/surviving the cult. This forces eccentric behaviors from how they dress to how they talk, to how they spend their money (think TV evangelists). 

• Antisocial Personality Disorder– a pattern of disregard for , and violation of, the rights of others

Due to the added expectation of “evangelizing” others (acquiring new converts) in a desperate attempt to save them from eternal damnation, cult members often regard the behaviors of the social majority as sinful and therefore up for harsh judgment. This is demonstrated through everything from abortion and gay rights protests to propping up a political leader who doesn’t mind representing the standards of the “moral” majority even if it requires that leader to execute it in a way that flies in the face of traditionally acceptable standards of the moral majority. 

• Borderline Personality Disorder– a pattern of instability in interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity

Without a sense of Self, inauthentic personas rule the day. The fallout ranges from mood swings, a spectrum of honed personas, and a canny way of trading one for the other on a dime when the individual perceives their cult security or safety is at risk. 

• Histrionic Personality Disorder– a pattern of excessive emotionality and attention seeking.

Think charismatic leaders, loud prayers before eating in public establishments, and communal alter calls that encourage public demonstrations of sin shaming. 

• Narcissistic Personality Disorder– a pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and lack of empathy. 

Overemphasizing both the inadequacies of individuals and the antidote-like qualities of the cult who endorse hierarchical acknowledgment (often patriarchal) and prize “deserving” hardships/martyrdom over empathy or solicited handouts.  

• Avoidant Personality Disorder– a pattern of social inhibition, feelings of inadequacy, and hypersensitivity to negative evaluation.

Likely more of a female/minority trait in a patriarchal community, that carries the same feelings of inadequacy impressed upon them in the religious cult to situations outside of the group where the prescribed value is expected to continue playing out. This is often exhibited on a larger scale through religious nationalism, serving as a reminder of hierarchical influences that reach beyond the confines of the cult. 

• Dependent Personality Disorder– a pattern of submissive and clinging behavior related to an excessive need to be taken care of.

Codependency 101. The Echo yang to Narcissus’ yin. Due to an extreme lack of self-confidence or underdeveloped autonomy, why those who struggle with codependency issues either remain in a cult, or leave one only to join another or turn to abusive relationships or other forms of dependency. The fear of abandonment is tied to social suicide because the dependent individual has no, or an underdeveloped, sense of Self. 

• Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder– a pattern of preoccupation with orderliness, perfectionism, and control

Let’s face it. This is a prerequisite to cult survival. Coloring outside the lines brings unwanted and often dangerous attention/judgment. 

• Personality change due to another medical condition– a persistent personality disturbance that is judged to be due to the direct psychological effects of a medical condition

I was going to rule this one out, but then my partner reminded me that Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE’s) have the ability to change baseline cortisol levels. Cortisol, (a stress hormone responsible for regulating physiological systems in the body) when maintained at an elevated state- often when an individual is required to consistently reference an outside locus of control and avoid missteps that could result in rapture exclusion, can markedly deviate away from normal development and cause significant change in the child’s usual behavior patterns, lasting months, years, even decades, perhaps a lifetime. 

• Other Specified Personality Disorder and Unspecified Personality Disorder (Refer to paragraph under Personality Disorders). 

I’m not saying that all survivors of religious cult abuse identify with all of the above traits. Adverse Childhood Experiences that trigger the fight or flight mechanism tend to have a way of coordinating an offense that best suits the survival of the victim. 

Let’s begin to break it down from the General Personality Disorder criteria;

• An enduring pattern of inner experience and behavior that deviates markedly from the expectations of the individual’s culture- manifested in the following areas:
  • Cognition (ways of perceiving and interpreting self, other people, and events)
  • Affectivity (describing the range, intensity, lability, and appropriateness of emotional response)
  • Interpersonal functioning
  • Impulse control

What makes a cult a cult is that it promotes behavior that purposely presents differently from the culture norms of society at large. Since the behavior expectations are second nature to the individual, cult life is like opting-in to the criteria of General Personality Disorder. 

• The pattern is inflexible and pervasive across a broad range of personal and social situations.

Again, a second nature/ opt-in to behavioral functioning- not just in public situations. Evangelical cult members are also highly aware of “appropriate” thoughts/behaviors in private- because like Santa, God is always watching to determine if you belong on the “good” or “naughty” list- both behaviorally and inside your head. Pretty f*#ked up, right?

• The pattern leads to clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning. 

Let it be known, “distress” is an understatement here. 

• The pattern is stable and of long duration, and its onset can be traced back at least to adolescence or early adulthood.

This is subjective when it comes to cult functioning. In cults, the pattern can be traced back to the moment one begins drinking the Kool-Aid being served up. 

• The enduring pattern is not better explained as a manifestation or consequence of another mental disorder.

The chicken or egg dilemma is real. Are people with personality disorders drawn to cults? Yes. Does cult membership cause personality disorders? Also, yes. 

• The enduring pattern is not attributable to the physiological effects of a substance or another medical condition. 

In many religious cults, like the evangelical cult I was raised in, substance use is strictly prohibited (unless you count caffeine or sugar- which is served in excess at most church functions). This is due to ensuring that outsiders see their behavior as intentional and “unto God” and not mistaken for drunkenness.

If you’re a survivor, this resonates. If you’re the ally of a survivor, what you need to know is that religious cult abuse and the brainwashing that precedes a victim’s abandonment of Self and abdication of agency (believing the Self to be evil and never to be trusted- and therefore exiled into shadow) forces the cult victim to adopt behavior that deviates markedly from the majority culture, mentally, emotionally, inter-personally, and with a duty to guard that persona with force when deemed necessary. Without an authentic expression of Self, a personality has no other outcome than disorder. 

Religious ADHD- Inattentive Type (Characteristics in line with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder)

I qualify this diagnosis with “religious” because the symptoms exist due to the extensive process of denying authentic expression and behavior, filtering both external cues and responses through the pre-frontal cortex (the conscious working part of the brain). Since an authentic response is deemed potentially sinful, the primitive part of the brain (the brain stem’s fight/flight/freeze response) is preoccupied with cult survival nearly as much or equal to physiological survival. The following symptoms of ADHD are likely the result of survival preoccupation rather than traditional neurodivergence. 

• Inattention
  • failing to give close attention to details or making careless mistakes in routine activities
  • difficulty sustaining attention in tasks or conversations
  • presents as inattentiveness to conversation, absent mindedness- even in the absence of any obvious distraction
  • trouble with follow through or work completion (often beginning tasks, but abandoning them after becoming sidetracked or losing focus)
  • demonstrates difficulty organizing tasks/activities or keeping belongings in order, poor time management, failing to meet deadlines
  • Often avoids, dislikes, or is reluctant to engage in tasks that require sustained mental effort
  • Often loses things necessary for tasks or activities
  • Often easily distracted by extraneous stimuli/ unrelated thoughts
  • Often forgetful in daily activities

I chose not to include “Hyperactivity and impulsivity” to this diagnosis as the symptoms therein do not seem to present as a natural result of religious cult abuse. I am open to disagreement, but at least in my experience, the demonstration of inattention is often a result of trying to avoid the negative attention brought on by impulsive characteristics of ADHD. 

Religious Neurodivergence (Characteristics in line with Autism Spectrum Disorder)

While I am not at all discounting individuals who suffer from this disorder physiologically within physiological boundaries- I do want to validate religious cult survivors who identify with this form of neurodivergence as a result of abdicating agency to survive cult community and existential judgment. It is hard to dismiss the uptick in individuals who either self-identify or unexpectedly qualify for an Autism diagnosis. Looking outside of the box includes looking all the way around the box, not just the box of religious cult abuse. Many people abdicate agency for various survival reasons which accommodate the community that poses the most potential harm. Here are the qualifying DSM-IV symptoms that, I believe, resonate with those who have been forced to abandon Self and abdicate agency:

• Persistent deficits in social communication and social interaction across multiple contexts as manifested by the following, currently or by history
  • Deficits in social-emotional reciprocity ranging from abnormal social approach and failure of normal back-and-forth conversation to reduced sharing of interests, emotions, or affect, to failure to initiate or respond to social interactions.

Unless you’ve lived this, just know, the struggle is real. Having been born into a religious cult, I can vouch that it is possible to be fully aware of your deficits in social-emotional reciprocity and not fully understand why. I was so very aware for years. The frustration of this recognition without having the agency to fully understand why this deficit exists is infuriating, embarrassing, and leads to further shame believing that one simply must accept that deficit. 

• Deficits in nonverbal communicative behaviors used for social interaction, ranging from poorly integrated verbal and nonverbal communication to abnormalities in eye contact and body language or deficits in understanding and use of gestures; to a total lack of facial expressions and nonverbal communication.

Piggybacking on the previous symptom, at least from my own lived experience, the lack of eye contact stems from both a lack of confidence (agency) to also trying to demonstrate compliance within the hierarchy I was trained to believe and live. Being a female, my place resided behind even the “least” males in the community. I was often told to “smile” despite how I was feeling. Females were property. If that sounds dramatic, consider why fathers give away their daughters on their wedding day. Property is a patriarchal tradition, my friends. 

A lack of facial expressions and nonverbal communication, at least in my experience, stems from a desire to not elicit unwanted attention that would expose a lack of confidence in navigating a conversation/situation. 

• Deficits in developing, maintaining, and understanding relationships, ranging from difficulties adjusting behavior to suit various social contexts; to difficulties in sharing imaginative play or in making friends; to absence of interest in peers. 

Without agency, relationships are only mirrored transactions of those we surround ourselves with. Where there’s fawning, there’s safety. However, in “secular” circles, the religious cult member will only fawn to the extent that their eternal security is not at stake. At high school parties, I learned to always carry a drink (so as not to draw attention that others would find threatening or mockable) but would only pretend to drink. Hypocrisy is unavoidable because abdicating agency, in itself, is hypocrisy- so religious cult members conceal this fault at great lengths. This is why so many religious cult members claim “introversion” as a personal trait- because honestly, the effort it takes to balance an inauthentic locus of control within popular society is simply too exhausting to negotiate. 

• Restricted, repetitive patterns of behavior, interests, or activities
  • Stereotyped or repetitive motor movements, use of objects, or speech (simple motor stereotypes, echolalia, idiosyncratic phrases). 

This may seem a bit “out there” and maybe this is much more common in “secular” circles than I realize- but in my experience, movie and song quotes flow freely among religious cult circles. Quotes, referred to often and with alarming repetition, become how religious cult members not only relate to the greater community outside of the cult, but provide a social map for how to fawn within that world. My partner and I (both childhood religious cult survivors) still engage much of how we communicate between ourselves and others with a wide catalog of movie, commercial, or meme quotes. Echolalic phrases stem from the language promoted by the religious cult. My use of “secular” or “worldly” instead of “common” or “cultural” is one example of these phrases.  What can I say, trauma responses die hard- and some simply ride along with us into the sunset. 

• Insistence on sameness, inflexible adherence to routines, or ritualized patterns of verbal or nonverbal behavior (extreme distress at small changes, difficulties with transitions, rigid thinking patterns, greeting rituals).

To the religious cult member, what we have here is, “A buffet of safety.” (Movie quote; courtesy of Pretty Woman) Inflexibility around ritualized patterns is simply muscle memory that ensures religious cult members don’t find themselves falling out of line with the rigid standards of the cult rules and expectations. When unexpected transitions happen that don’t line up with prefabricated rituals, awkwardness ensues.

• Highly restricted, fixated interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus (strong attachment to unusual objects, excessively circumscribed or preservative active interests). 

Prayer and bible-reading/“devotions” rituals, car radio fixed on Christian music stations, MAGA, Q-Anon. 

In an attempt to provide a friendly differentiation; Individuals who are secure in their agency do not require an over-pronounced emotional response to those who do not buy in to their brand of mythology, because of the empathy and awareness for others that one’s authentic agency carries. For those with agency, emotional explosivity is the result of a personal boundary infraction. To the religious cult member, emotional explosivity is often the result of feeling the need to defend an outside locus of control. Agency is believing in what is authentic to us, with a superb awareness that others have the right to do the same. No need to infringe on the boundaries of another’s authentic expression. 

• Hyper- or hypo reactivity to sensory input or unusual interest in sensory aspects of the environment (apparent indifference to pain/temperature, adverse response to specific sounds or textures, smell or touch, visual fascination with lights or movement. 
• Symptoms may not become fully manifest until social demands exceed limited capacities, or may be masked by learned strategies in later life. 

Yep. Growing up in a religious cult can be quite peachy until developmental differentiation rears its fateful head. The religious cult is well prepared to face this sort of “rebellion.” So in order to maintain safety and survive the wrath of certain social demise, we mask. The double-life of an adolescent required to subject themself to frequent exposure to cult meetings and demands is simply agency having to arm-wrestle a structural narcissistic bully. 

• Symptoms cause clinically significant impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of current functioning. 

Along with simply engaging in social, occupational, and other various extracurricular activities, each are to be considered a “mission field.” The responsibility to “convert” others into the religious brand of cult that cult members engage is paramount. Engaging community while repping an outside locus of control that demands a continuous sacrifice of the authentic agency of both members and the blood of new converts presents quite a impairment in social functioning with an understated symptom description. 

While this list of symptoms is extensive, it does not represent a comprehensive list of symptoms that fall under Autism Spectrum Disorder. I am simply highlighting those symptoms (viewed through a religious abuse lens) which, I believe, can also result from conscious abdication for cult survival which often play out in characteristics in line with communicative disorders such as autism. 

Anxiety (Characteristics in line with various anxiety disorders)

Let’s dive right in since anxiety has pretty much made its presence known to society’s main stream. 

• Separation Anxiety Disorder
  • Developmentally inappropriate and excessive fear or anxiety concerning separation from those to whom the individual is attached, as evidenced by;
    • recurrent excessive distress when anticipating or experiencing separation from home or from major attachment figures. 

Listen, if you understand the implications of not having your bags packed and checked in time for the rapture, you know that missing that flight comes with a huge price tag. As a child within a religious cult, knowing where your parents are at all times is key to knowing if the plane has indeed taken off without you. 

• Persistent and excessive worry about losing major attachment figures or about possible harm to them, such as illness, injury, disasters, or death.

See above explanation. 

• Persistent and excessive worry about experiencing an untoward event that causes separation from a major attachment figure

Also, see aforementioned explanation. 

• Persistent reluctance or refusal to go out, away from home, to school, to work, or elsewhere because of fear of separation.

Who are my rapture phobics out there? 

• Persistent and excessive fear of or reluctance about being alone or without major attachment figures at home or in other settings

I’m beginning to believe that this disorder originated in Evangelical Christianity. 

• Persistent reluctance or refusal to sleep away from home or to go to sleep without being near a major attachment figure.

…unless those whose home you are staying in have also secured their tickets to the rapture. 

• Repeated nightmares involving the theme of separation

Rapture?… Rapture…. rApTuRe…. Word’s lost all meaning.  (Name that TV show reference for 1,000 points- thank you Mr. Levitz)

• Repeated complaints of physical symptoms (headaches, stomachaches, nausea, vomiting) when separation from major attachment figures occurs or is anticipated.

And then there’s the emotional fallout from tracking all this sh*t. 

• The disturbance causes clinically significant distress or impairment in social, academic, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.

How is a child possibly expected to know how to navigate a world of sinners when all the “saved” people went and raptured without them? The sh*t-outta-luck factor is a complete mindf*ck. 

• Specific Phobia
  • Marked fear or anxiety about a specific object or situation.

Hell ring a bell? How about school dances for those who grew up with Footloose feeling more like a personal memoir rather than a cultural oddity for absurd entertainment. 

• The phobic object or situation almost always provides immediate fear or anxiety.

How about Ouija boards or demonic symbolism? Dungeons and Dragons? Metal bands?

• The phobic object or situation is actively avoided or endured with intense fear or anxiety.

Yep- tied right there to your brain stem’s fear response mechanism.

• The fear or anxiety is out of proportion to the actual danger posed by the specific object or situation and to the sociocultural context. 

And to my Religious Neurodivergent allies, the implications of engaging in cultural parlor games like tarot cards or burning sage can help explain a LOT of your favorite neurodivergent’s strong adversity to various objects/activities. 

• The fear, anxiety, or avoidance is persistent

…but who isn’t preoccupied with Occult symbols like 666 24/7- can I get a witness?

• The fear, anxiety, or avoidance causes clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.

I still have never personally played D&D- and even though my agency grants me full permission (even endorsement), my fight or flight is a bitch to hurdle. Baby steps. Baby steps. “Keep saying it like a mantra.” -name that movie.

• Social Anxiety Disorder (Social Phobia)
  • Marked fear or anxiety about one or more social situations in which the individual is exposed to possible scrutiny by others (conversations, meeting new people), being observed or performing in front of others in a way that invites possible scrutiny. 

School dances, being invited to R rated movies, parties outside of the religious cult, after work happy-hour, inviting outsiders to church where people speak in tongues and fall down for no culturally apparent reason. 

• The individual fears that he or she will act in a way or show anxiety symptoms that will be negatively evaluated, leading to rejection or offend others.

See examples of the previous symptom. 

• The social situations are avoided or endured with intense fear or anxiety.

It’s easier to just tell people you’re an introvert. Really.

• The fear or anxiety is out of proportion to the actual threat posed by the social situation and to the sociocultural context.

*The only context in which the proportion of stressor to stress level seems “normal” is within the judgmental authorianism of the religious cult. 

• The fear, anxiety, or avoidance causes clinically significant distress or impairment. in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning. 

Well… yeah. The result of an abdicated agency, patriarchy, hierarchy, and religious authorianism punctuated with the threat of eternal damnation really… blows. It’s also a complete energy suck. 

• Generalized Anxiety Disorder
  • Excessive anxiety and worry occurring more days than not about a number of events or activities such as work, school, or performance.

…all of which need to be laundered through a culturally strict and fear-based filter. 

• The individual finds it difficult to control the worry.

Damnation and threats of social abandonment does that to a person. 

• The anxiety and worry are associated with the following situations
  • restlessness or feeling keyed up or on edge
  • being easily fatigued 
  • difficulty concentrating or mind going blank
  • irritability (manufactured personas can be quite moody)
  • muscle tension (I don’t think I had a comfortable bowel movement my entire childhood- not an exaggeration)
  • sleep disturbance (nightmares and impending social appointments that require heavy masking evokes a heavy trauma cycle)
• The anxiety, worry, or physical symptoms cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning. 

Religious trauma in a nutshell.  

Another common (but not necessarily universal) disorder shared by religious cult members and survivors has direct implications to physical image expression…

Body Dysmorphic Disorder

• Preoccupation with one or more perceived defects or flaws in physical appearance that are not observable or appear slight to others. 

…Keeping in mind that mimicking the prized image of the community bears some of this burden while others who are attempting to survive cult expectations may find passive-aggressive ways to express control in more covert ways such as body image.

• The individual performs repetitive behaviors (mirror checking, excessive grooming, skin picking, reassurance seeking) or mental acts (comparing one’s appearance with that of others) in response to the appearance concerns. 

In a traditional patriarchal religious community, females must compete for the attention, and ultimate union, with the males who (or have the potential to) dominate that community successfully. 

• The preoccupation causes clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other areas of functioning.
• The appearance preoccupation is not better explained by concerns with body fat or weight in an individual whose symptoms meet criteria for an eating disorder. 

Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD)

And despite surviving all of that to the best of your ability, even if you’ve been able to realign with your authentic Self and deconstruct the religious cult that once forced that Self to hide in shadow, you are likely becoming sharply aware of how a comorbid cocktail of these not so insignificant diagnoses merge to create a collaborative diagnosis of C-PTSD (Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). 

C-PTSD, as described by the Neuro-Affective Relational Model (NARM), is the focus on self-organization, which refers to a neurodevelopmental and psycho-biological process of shaping one’s personality and life experiences- focusing on three areas of disturbances in self-organization: emotional regulation, self-concept, and relationships. (Heller & Kammer, 2022).  

This term umbrellas

• relational disruptions during childhood that impact development of a child’s sense of Self, the complexity of how those disruptions impact sense of Self into later years
• attachment disorders stemming from unhealthy relationships/communities that helped form how we perceive and engage our world
• the way that relationships between individuals in dominant positions impact individuals in subordinate positions
• relational trauma emerging out of the oppression of communities, cultures, and nations
• disordered attachments resulting from abdication of agency

(Heller & Kammer, 2022). 

According to NARM, C-PTSD directly influences the extent one can 

• connect to Self and others 
• separate/individuate
• self-regulate 
• take ownership of one’s life (agency)
• experience others as a source of support (capacity for intimacy)
• be self-aware (insight)
• experience life with minimal projections
• initiate or set the course for one’s life
• be present in the present moment 

(Heller & Kammer, 2022). 

It is easy to align religious cult abuse with C-PTSD since the requirement of abdicating agency of Self to a hierarchical standard while attempting to thrive (or even simply survive) within the cult environment automatically negates healthy development or function of the aspects that align under C-PTSD symptoms. Without a healthy connection to or trust within one’s Self, there can be no healthy individuating, responsibility (response-ability), agency, insight, development, ability to remain grounded in the present, or regulate due to a locus of control resting outside of Self. Until a cult survivor regains a healthy connection to Self, they will continue to project a spectrum of successes and failures on whom/whatever they continue to provide access and control to their sense of agency. This is why it takes more than recognizing the cycle to be free from a cult mentality. Becoming free from a cult mentality requires a consistent and mindful practice of accessing and trusting in the Self we recognize we have full potential to become and be. 

The anger and shame that results from both being a victim, and further realizing the role(s) cult survivors also played in perpetuating the abuse (either overtly or covertly), of religious cult persuasion is nothing short of traumatizing. Let it be clear that using a position of trust to control the mindset and behaviors of others by threat of social ostracizing, physical or mental harm, or eternal damnation (for starters) is blatantly criminal, and likely flies in the face of the good that the cult claimed to pursue in the first place. Anger and shame motivate us to do better when we know better. We cannot change the past, and remaining angry or shameful about that fact is simply becoming complicit to the ideologies of another garden variety cult. Let anger and shame serve as a reminder- “Never again.” 

I’d love to hear your thoughts on how this diagnostic hypothesis landed on you. Relatable? Offensive? Clarifying? Feel free to comment your experience below.

References:

Salanade & Perkins, American Journal of Psychotherapy, Vol. 65, No. 4, 2011- An Object Relations Approach to Cult Membership

Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders 5 (DSM-V)

Heller & Kammer, 2022- The Practical Guide for Healing Developmental Trauma